Oh beautiful Louisiana, how amazing it is. In early January of 2019 I was asked to speak for a summer camp hosted every year called As You Are (A.Y.A) in Opelousas, LA in June. I agreed as it was just an amazing opportunity as my entire purpose of becoming a Life Coach, innovator, and influencer was to be the change that I wanted to see in the community or just ANYWHERE I spoke or placed my feet on solid ground. But I was nervous as ever.
U know I had to take a look at me and say alright, "what do U have to say to girls ages 12-18 years of age in a state U know nothing about?" What I have realized traveling, every state has their own cultural norms and values and blending in can sometimes make U feel like U are a red stain on a yellow wall. I went over and over in my head planning and questioning and questioning and planning. The host Mrs. Hart said just take it day by day U will be fine. Well the my personality is set up U can't tell me that or my anxiety will take over LOL.
Before I even arrived on Sunday the entire trip from Atlanta to Louisiana it seemed like my day was already spiraling out of control. When I arrived in Houston for another even on this day the TSA in Atlanta I found the bottle of Listerine had wasted all over every item of clothing in my bag. I arrived in Houston hoping to sit in the USO as that is a location specially for military soldiers and they were behind the security and the man basically told me he didn't feel like coming to get me. So I sat in the lobby for 5 hrs and my clothes on every chair attempting to get them dry. In the USO, I would have had a place to change and get myself together rather than a normal community bathroom.
I realized that the outfit I was going to my first event in was going to have a stain and as I proceeded to wash just the spot it in the sink, the entire shirt got wet and I was just lost for words. Have U ever been through this? Where just everything U try doesn't go right? I realized the time was nearing down and I had to catch an Uber 45 minutes to the first location at Texas Southern University. I couldn't wear the outfit I brought so I had to find something at least half way dry. The Listerine was so strong it smelled as if I had just too much to drink. However there is no thing that Dulce and Gabanna Light Blue won't cover LOL. So There I found something and feeling slightly better but still wet
When LIFE says NO God says YES....
So after the wardrobe change in the bathroom, my purpose was initiated... A beautiful Queen walked in the bathroom and she said where are U going with a strong Nigerian accent. I told her that I was apart of a panel speaking to young women about the transition into womanhood with a mission to break the generational gaps in when & how we go after our dreams. I mentioned I am a life coach and that I want to make sure other Queens do not go through what I went through. She was like WOW! She said my husband left me with 4 children. Told me I would not and could not do anything without him. He called me ugly and told me no man would want me. She said U know I am closing on my house, two of my oldest are going to college, and I feel free. THE LIGHTBULB GOT REALLY BRIGHT HERE!
I said ma'am U do NOT need anyone to validate U. No one to tell U that U are amazing! Look at what U did for U! U are beautiful! When U give yourself PERMISSION to be FREE of those who DO NOTHING FOR U, U give yourself Permission to go after what U want and get it! She said he told her she a low job pushing wheelchairs! I said no excuse me LOW? That's high because people need U! There are hundreds who are sick and don't have help but they have U, some got hurt and can't push themselves but they got U! U are a value to those who need U! She had just finished her makeup and had already had raccoon eyes. She said I am full Life Coach Nesi thank U, God blessed me with your word this morning I needed U. In that moment I knew God made me UNCOMFORTABLE for a reason.
After my event in Texas Mrs. Kimiko came to get me and get back to my hotel. I was a mess inside as I just knew again that my nerves were going to get the best of me. I arrived on Monday morning with a bunch of young women eyeing me as if I was that new girl on the block and they were prepared to get her out! LOL. I walked in with confidence but inside feeling like a newborn.
I knew God placed me here because the message I had inside MATTERED. These young princesses come from all walks of life and their experiences were different but we all had something in common, we are, we were seeking the message inside that needed to be heard. That message could be an affirmation to overcome depression, anxiety, frustration, or even saying to their parents "I NEED HELP, or I want to TRANSITION to doing better for ME." I know they are young but they aren't dumb nor are they exempt from the world around them. They must learn that whatever they had to say to protect them, their sanity, they needed to say it with respect (especially if we are talking to adults), with confidence and OUT LOUD.
As a mother one thing I tell my son isn't that I cannot teach U how to be a man but I can show U how to speak up for U and what U want to do in life.I can show u how to go after what U want and position yourself for opportunity. THEIR MESSAGE MATTERS.
After 4 intense days, we cried, we got mad, we screamed, and we LET THINGS GO that we wanted to get rid of. But we also began to speak out loud, show up for us, walk in confidence and began that transition into another part of womanhood that isn't always the easiest. The journey ahead isn't going to be lit (as they say) but U have to light the fire to know where U are going and just prepare and equip yourself when it dims.
It was so powerful as I prayed that God would cover me HE CREATED A MOVEMENT inside of me. I didn't know who I became LOL... IT WAS JUST POWERFUL. But through that I had been through, I knew there was a message inside of me that the devil didn't want me to hear. That is why I went through all of the MESS.
I became so uncomfortable in this process that I had to let God use me in such a way I had never done. God said your comfort zone is always planned and on time but right now it cannot be; your comfort zone is a place but NOT your final destination YOUR MESSAGE MATTERS and I need U to speak it OUT LOUD. Keep going even when U don't know what is about to happen. Thank U God for this message.